|Dear Andromeda Spaceways…
I am just writing to say that, as a passenger on your recent maiden voyage, I was most impressed by the quality of service provided by your friendly staff (particularly by hostess Terri Sellen, who took advantage of me in the in-flight restrooms. Twice). Your flight crew (female *and* male) are all gorgeous (a particular nod to Ms Tehani Croft, who had me so entranced by her beauty that, before I knew it, I had purchased 12 subscriptions to your inflight magazine from her, despite the fact that I cannot even read); your captain (Mr R. Matthews) is extremely cuddly; and your inflight magazine made fascinating and insightful reading. My only complaint was that, after being hugged by your Promotions Director – a Mr Ian Nichols – I discovered my wallet to be missing. However, given that the wallet was full of snapshots of myself and Ms Sellen (sportingly taken by her husband) which I would otherwise have had to
explain to my wife, I must concede that the entire experience was satisfactory. I shall certainly be booking your services again for my next intergalactic voyage.